I love food, I love clothes

I love food, I love clothes

Thursday, March 6, 2014

What's up yeast? Gangsta baking....

I love desserts with citrus, that sweet tang you can only get from fresh winter fruits go just splendidly into many, many, many desserts. Making them all very healthy for you.
I had some serious clementine action going on in my fruit drawer in my fridge so I wisely decided to shove them into some cinnamon rolls.
I will often bake for therapeutic reasons and my first instinct is to make a yeast based dough for the therapy I am seeking. Now, if for some reason, I manage to kill the yeast and my dough doesn't rise, it makes me go all gangsta and want to choke a bitch, negating any therapeutic baking I was seeking... But no worries, this all went just peachy.

For this recipe, I warmed up 3/4 cup of Buttermilk to 100 degrees F, (for me this means warming it up in my microwave for 15 seconds at time) Buttermilk looks grossly offensive once you do this, have a fork near by to whisk it back to none offensive looks. To that I added 1 packet of active dry yeast.
In another bowl, whisk together 3 eggs. In yet, another bowl, melt 6 Tablespoons of butter.
Add the butter to the eggs and to that add the zest of 4 Clementines.
To my kitchen aid bowl, I added 4 cups of flour, 1/4 cup of sugar and 1 and 1/4 tsp Salt, mix with the dough hook and pour in the yeast and buttermilk and then pour the egg mixture right in after that and let the kitchen aid do its magic, turning this mixture into a beautiful elastic, gluten filled dough. I love gluten and it has done nothing to offend me, go gluten yay!
IF, the dough seems sticky, add 1 Tablespoon of flour at time until the dough is slapping the bowl, (there is sooooo much I could say here...) I have found that it really is up to the pastry gods and one day you will need to add a bit more flour and other days, no need. Always safer to start with less flour cuz you can't take that shit out once it is in there.
Turn the dough out onto the counter and gently knead with your hands, just because at this point, it feels sooooo good.
Lightly oil a big bowl (I used vegetable oil) and place the dough into the bowl.
Wrap tight with saran wrap and leave in a warm draft free room. I did this on a freezing NYC day and turned my oven on, had the clothes dryer going and the living room heater up to full blast, just to be sure I wouldn't have to choke a bitch if this dough didn't step up and rise.

Here it is, if you look closely, you can see the specks of Clementine zest in that beautiful gluten filled dough. This is where you have so much hope for this dough. And it's amazing, its a living thing. 

And here, just a short 2 1/2 hours later, no bitches have to be choked and I am the proud creator of some beautifully proofed dough. "Proofed" is the technical word pro's use in the biz to describe when dough rises. And there really is a science to it. Look it up, it's neato. 

           Once the dough is proofed properly, roll it out on a lightly floured surface. This can really be a bitch. And guess why? The gluten, it makes it really elastic and stretchy, but it feels so good to roll this dough out, go ahead, you know you want too... Don't worry your pretty little head about making a perfect rectangle to roll out, get the closest thing you can to a rectangle, it'll work out just fine.
Once it's rolled out to your best ability, which I am sure is just awesome, liberally spread some softened butter all over that dough. Because I am me, I use Plugra unsalted. Then sprinkle sugar all over the dough and then some cinnamon. I went light with the cinnamon  and used some cardamom as well, it goes so good with citrus. Look at me being all fancy with the flavors. Next, as tightly as you can, roll it up tight lengthwise (I lived in South Africa so I can roll the stickiest of the icky up tight) Slice into rounds and place into a buttered dish and cover tightly with saran wrap. Leaving room for these beauties to rise, see above.

Just look at all that beautiful life that was created with yeast, it really is amazing. Who would not want a part of this? Now it is off to the oven to bake at 375 degrees for about 20ish minutes. This is where I suck cuz I don't really use a timer, I go by my eyes. To me, this (see below) looks done. I like them to be a slightly darker color then what most people tend to think as done.

While these beauties are in the oven, I made the Clementine cream cheese frosting. Because what the hell else did you think would top these beauties?
The four food groups here...
Beat room temp 4 oz cream cheese along with room temp 4 oz butter. Add the juice and pulp of 4 -5 Clementines and 2 tsp vanilla, beat till light and fluffy. Add 4 cups powdered sugar, beat till well combined. I like to put this in the fridge and firm up a bit before I slather this crazy mad delicious frosting all over those baked beauties.

Once they have come out of the oven, I like to let them sit for just a few minutes before smothering with the clementine cream cheese icing.

OK, its been a few minutes, go for it. Lose all abandon, go full force. Cover every single part, twice, with that mad crazy delicious frosting.

Now, grab a plate, a fork if you wish and indulge. It's all part of this "therapeutic baking"

You're welcome.

No bitches were choked or harmed in anyway during the making of these bomb ass Clementine Cardamom Cinnamon rolls. Cuz I'm good

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