The only kind of snowball anyone should be dealing with by now...

I grew up loving, I mean loving Hostess Snowballs. I love them so much, I prefer to eat them alone so I can really go at it. I recently introduced these little balls of indulgence to a good friend of mine and upon my absolute horror, said friend spit it out and said they were the grossest things ever.

To be honest, I get it. I understand why someone wouldn't enjoy these things... I mean I think most of what makes these things is synthetic and not technically even real food. I still enjoy them, go ahead and judge me, I do.

So I thought I would make a homemade snowball and see if I could sway my friend into enjoying this with me, here goes.

I started by make a chocolate genoise cake, this makes such a soft "sponge" I thought it would be perfect for how I was going to use it

Chocolate Genoise
1/2 stick unsalted butter
3/4 cup ap flour
1/4 cup cocoa
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup sugar
6 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract

Pre-heat oven to 350
Prepare 9 inch round pan (I usually just spray with Pam, liberally)
Melt the butter, set aside.
Sift the flour, cocoa, and salt into a big bowl

Whisk the eggs and the sugar in a kitchen aide until well combined. Then, place the bowl over  a sauce pan of simmering water, making sure that the water does not touch the bowl. Now whisk constantly (this is a true labor of love...) until it is warm to the touch, remove from heat and let the kitchen aide do its magic and beat at medium speed until the eggs are pale colored, and full of volume. About 6-8 minutes.
Beat in the vanilla extract. Remove from mixer and take a hefty portion of the eggs (about 1 cup) and stir into the melted butter.
Then slowly sprinkle the flour mixture into the batter on slow just until incorporated. Add the melted butter/eggs back into the batter, gently folding it in. You don't want to take any of the volume out of the batter.
Pour gently into prepared pan and bake for about 35 minutes, it should bounce back when gently pressed with a finger. A clean finger preferably.

Once the cake has cooled in the pan, turn out and let cool to room temp. Then wrap up in saran wrap and let chill in the fridge for at least an hour.

Slice of the top of the cake where it is round and do not throw this away or eat it, you need it.
Then slice the cake into 4 (thin) layers, this is done best with a serrated knife and a turntable.
Take one of the cake rounds and cut it into 8 pieces like a pizza

Then line a 9 inch round bowl with saran wrap so that there are long edges of saran wrap hanging over the bowl. Place the triangle pieces all along the bowl. This can be a little bit of a bitch. Just keep in mind, you work the cake, don't let the cake work you. If there are some spaces in between, just use that top part of the cake I told you to keep and rip pieces of it and just press into any showing spaces so that the bowl is fully lined with the chocolate cake.

See how the saran wrap hangs below the bowl? This will make getting out of the bowl super easy. Next take your favorite raspberry jam and liberally spread all over the cake, then put into the fridge. 

While its chilling, take a pint of heavy cream, add 1 Tablespoon powdered sugar, 1/2 tsp vanilla bean paste (or scrape out the inside of a vanilla bean) and add 2 Tablespoons of Raspberry Kirsch and whip heavy cream up to stiff peaks. 

     

Take some of that whipped cream and place some of it at the bottom of the cake lined bowl, then cut out a small circle from one of the 4 layers, I just did this by eye... I am sure you can do it as well, and place the small circle of cake on top of the whipped cream. Repeat till it is filled right up to the top.

                                               Cover with saran wrap and let chill.

While it is chilling, make the marshmallow topping.
1/2 cup water
2 tsp unflavored gelatin
1 1/2 sticks of butter, at room temp
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/4 tsp salt
4 cups of Fluff

Dissolve the gelatin in a microwave safe bowl with the water until is soft. (at least 6 minutes)
Microwave the gelatin mixture until it is bubbling, this really varies on your microwave oven, for mine it took about 45 seconds. Stir in butter, vanilla and salt till combined. Once this has cooled till it is just warm to the touch, add the fluff, whisk until it is well mixed and no lumps of anything. This is a bitch, but hang in there, it will come together. Cover and let chill in fridge.

For the original snowballs, the coconut "substance" that is used is not toasted, but I thought that it could use some crunch. So I  died some coconut pink (about 2 cups, just put coconut in a food processor add a couple drops of red food coloring and grind away)

Once its the pink that you want, toast it. I did this by putting the pink coconut on a sheet pan and into a 400 degree oven till it got pretty toasty.

                                                      Now invert the cake onto a plate

                                                                           
                Next, using a rubber spatula, mix up the marshmallow spread so that it is spreadable.
                                Then slather all of that marshmallow goodness all over the cake

                                            Immediately cover with the toasted pink coconut

           
                                    Call your bff over and enjoy this snowball and say good bye to winter.
                                                     Enough with the snow and cold already!

Slutty Barbie cakes, takes one to make one...

Barbie cakes are by far my best sellers. This week, one of the cakes I made was for a 39th birthday party and the birthday girl wanted one of my slutty Barbie cakes. I keep saying that it takes one to make one... So glad that there are people out there with a sense of humor and realize that I am kidding. 

Kind of. 

The rest of you that send me perverted messages via any social media websites,  well keep 'em coming. 

Here is the $9.00 Barbie that I use for most of my Barbie cakes. She looks so happy, no clue as to the transformation she is about to go through....

I don't care for the doll's that are made specifically for said Barbie cakes, they look like a serial killer somewhere is out there is designing doll's for some twisted purpose... And why are they looking off to the left? What in the hell is going on over there? 

So for my use, I buy a whole Barbie, then rip off one of her legs. Poor thing. She looks like she survived some civil war between toys once you cut into the cake. But all in the name of a Happy Birthday, anything goes. Just ask Salome. *

I use the standard Barbie cake pan but I also bake an extra 8 inch round to add more layers to the "dress" of the cake. I sometimes also bake a 10 inch round to place the Barbie on for a base. This works just in case the birthday gal or guy, this is 2013, needs to place several, several candles on said cake....

So here she is, looking like she is being tortured in keeping her arms up for a lengthy amount of time by some crazy dictator. The cake and frosting are alternating layers of vanilla and chocolate. Once I have her crumb coated, I then go over with the base color for the cake. In this case, black. 

I put her hair up to keep it from getting onto the cake while I decorate her. Any hair from anywhere on food repulses me. 

What I think is just nifty about my cakes (excuse me while I toot my own horn here) I have figured out a way to paint on frosting the same way you can paint on royal icing and or fondant. All the decorations on my cakes, including this one, is all frosting. Yummy, you want to drag your finger through it cuz it looks sooooo good frosting. Grab a diet coke and a fork and let the birthday celebration begin. 

*I was raised (very much against my will) Jehovah Witness. I knew from a very early age that this was not going to work out for me. Jehovah Witnesses don't believe in celebrating any holidays whatsoever. This includes birthdays, I remember even the word birthday was treated as a profanity.

 Hi, have you read this blog? Clearly I wasn't going to last in this.

 Every time I asked an elder (an older "wiser" member of this organization) why we couldn't celebrate birthdays, they always referred to the story in the bible of the girl, Salome. Who, for her birthday wanted and got John the Baptist's head on a platter. My response to this ass backwards reasoning, was that I didn't want a head on a platter, just some cake and a few presents. Gosh.